nice beginning, if you can get one

i stilled (yes that's a word, one i just made up) myself, on the false pretext that if it doesn't move then it can't be seen, (there are worse things in this life than being at the end of the line). perhaps i wont be the one to capture that ever elusive south african zeitgeist, perhaps ordinary is what ordinary does and perhaps even that is okay. she sees the beyond within me and smiles everytime it appears as the wryest form of awkwardness, a loving smiling, a loving awkwardness. i i i i tend to smile back, un-awkward only perplexed at how much i've actually thought this through and yet, we are blissfully blind in all of this. how lovely. anyway(s), says the sailor whose lost his taste for the profane, after all is said and done we are not said and done and this is the loveliest of beginnings. amen, said she